More Neologisms
Neologisms are alternate meanings for common words. Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage....
Lexicons
Funny dictionaries, glossaries, language definitions and new lingo. [21 entries.]
A Short Glossary for Culture Warriors
CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES: Hurt other people, apologize to Jesus, and get into Heaven.
The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.
Neologisms and New Words Dictionary: A - L
Neologisms are alternate meanings for common words - a few of those, plus some new words from old ones.
Help with Report Writing - Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector
Those of us used to writing technical and business reports know how difficult it can be to use just the right phrase to convey the true depth of your topic. Now, professionals and students alike can seem like etymological geniuses, thanks to the "Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector" created by Phillip Broughton, a U.S. Public Health Service official.
New List of Appropriate Language For Work
It has been brought to the Management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the more easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated.
Neologisms and New Words Dictionary: M-Z
Neologisms are alternate meanings for common words - a few of those, plus some new words from old ones.
A Women's Glossary
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.: A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
What Your Resume Really Means
I'm Extremely Adept At All Manner Of Office Organization: I can make my own coffee.
New Office Lingo
Author Unknown Adminisphere: Middle Management: the rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. Beepilepsy: The brief siezure people...
How To Write A Recommendation Letter That You Don't Really Mean
Having to write letters of recommendation for people with very dubious qualifications can cause serious legal troubles in a time when laws have eroded the confidentiality of business letters.
Hickbonics/English Dictionary
HEIDI - (noun): Greeting.
Politically correct cat definitions
My cat does not barf hairballs; he is a floor/rug redecorator. My cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job. My cat does not fear dogs; they are merely sprint practice tools. My cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity. My cat does not scratch; he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator. My cat does not yowl; he...
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
Job Advertisment Glossary
COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Jewish English or 'Hebonics'
The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as the language of many of America's Jews. Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language, and samples of phrases in standard English and Jewish English.
Parent's Dictionary
Amnesia: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
Male/Female Dictionary
Wants And Needs (wontz and nedz) n. Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship. Male: Food, sex and beer.
Computer Definitions
404: Someone who's clueless. From the WWW message "404, URL not found." Meaning that the document you've tried to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him; he's 404."
College Glossary
Author Unknown ABSENT: (n) The notation generally following your name in a class record. ADMISSIONS OFFICE: (n) Where they take you to get you to admit you've mooned the keynote speaker during "new student weekend." ANATOMY: (n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risque until you find out what it REALLY involves. BIOLOGY: (n) A class located suspiciously near...
Cheddarhead Dictionary
If you think you can deck yourself out in green and gold and walk around occasionally bellowing "Go-Pack-Go!" and qualify as a Wisconsin native... you're dead wrong. Youse gotta know the lingo too, ya-know, hey. For your enjoyment, here's an updated list of Wisconsinisms. This stuff drives a spell checker crazy.
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