Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" �by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
��A = poopsie
��B = lumpy
��C = buttercup
��D = gidget
��E = crusty
��F = greasy
��G = fluffy
��H = cheeseball
��I = chim-chim
��J = stinky
��K = flunky
��L = boobie
��M = pinky
��N = zippy
��O = goober
��P = doofus
��Q = slimy
��R = loopy
��S = snotty
��T = tulefel
��U = dorkey
��V = squeezit
��W = oprah
��X = skipper
��Y = dinky
��Z = zsa-zsa
Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
��A = apple
��B = toilet
��C = giggle
��D = burger
��E = girdle
��F = barf
��G = lizard
��H = waffle
��I = cootie
��J = monkey
��K = potty
��L = liver
��M = banana
��N = rhino
��O = bubble
��P = hamster
��Q = toad
��R = gizzard
��S = pizza
��T = gerbil
��U = chicken
��V = pickle
��W = chuckle
��X = tofu
��Y = gorilla
��Z = stinker
Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
��A = head
��B = mouth
��C = face
��D = nose
��E = tush
��F = breath
��G = pants
��H = shorts
��I = lips
��J = honker
��K = b utt
��L = brain
��M = tushie
��N = chunks
��O = hiney
��P = biscuits
��Q = toes
��R = buns
��S = fanny
��T = sniffer
��U = sprinkles
��V = kisser
��W = squirt
��X = humperdinck
��Y = brains
��Z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts. What's My name, you ask? Crusty Gerbiltush. Any of you call me that, you're dead. I'm not kidding. And don't laugh too hard if you're related to me -- your last name is Gerbiltush too.
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